Archive for June, 2004

It’s Raining Hitler!

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

The RNC recently released, on its website, a political ad entitled “It’s not a time for Pessimism and Rage” which sticks Al Gore, Dick Gephardt, and Howard Dean footage next to footage of Adolf Hitler.

Their reasoning being that the Adolf Hitler footage came from a advertisement. An open Contest, mind you. Shown more prominently and longer on the RNC website than on’s website, mind you.

John Kerry speaks out: “I don’t think it’s appropriate.” The RNC responds: “Are you going to denounce Al Gore’s, Dick Gephardt’s and Howard Dean’s speeches?”

Those wry figureheads of the RNC…

I’m pondering something, though. Suppose a presidential candidate comes around that promises the extermination of the Jews.

The opposing candidate then makes a comparison of this candidate to Hitler.

Now, say, hypothetically, that this candidate says “You can’t make Hitler comparisons too lightly.”

Hypothetically… wouldn’t that be a curious situation?

The Natural Law Party calls it Quits

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

I recall a throw-away gag reference to the Natural Law Party on an episode of “Pinky and the Brain”.

I read the John Hagelin entry in the 1996 Washington State Voter’s pamphlet… laughing.

Though, I have to say: I appreciated some of the sentiment. On first blush, it all makes sense. Focus on prventing problems, not solving after they happen.

But… then we get into an area where we somehow need to become better… spiritually attuned. How? I don’t know… through transcendental meditation… sit around, wish our problems away, and they so disappear.

And it all falls apart.

I was sympathetic in 2000. A poster at wrote that he reminded them of the New Age phoneys in “Alan Mendelsohn”, which prompted me to write in and somewhat defend him — and prompted Pinkwater to write back saying that he looks like every other politico. And I smiled when someone, right after the election, sitting around talking about the post-election fiasco, said to me that they liked that “alternate Reform Party candidate”…

I would’ve voted for him if there weren’t any clear number one third party protest vote, as there was (and as there doesn’t really look to be in the 2004 election cycle.)

The Natural Party way appears to have regularly tried to schlep onto other parties. The Reform Party in 2000 is the most famous for its high drama (Hagelin and Pat Choate– Perot’s running mate in 1996 and a man who fully endorsed Pat Buchannan in 2000, unlike Perot, thus serving as the bridge between the two sections of the party history — appeared on Nightline, debating their side of the story on what happened at the convention, and who the rightful candidate for the Reform Party was.) They apparently earlier tried to make Hagelin the candidate for the Green Party…

Rumoured is that they wanted Dennis Kucinich as their 2004 nominee — not likely since Kucinich is a loyal Democrat. John Hagelin endorsed Kucinich in the Democratic primary.

But, the party has dis-integrated, following the lead of the Party in Europe. And, reported in politics1, the party has morphed into a creepy shadow government

… though, looking over their itenerary, I get the feeling they are going to enact a big part of their political platform despite the part that they’re not in power… ie: transcendentally meditate…

… have everyone take their hats off and rub their bellies.

The New Iraqi Flag

Tuesday, June 29th, 2004

Another weird item that has been tossed into the memory hole…

This is the flag that was “replaced” last April:

The flag that replaced it… tear out the colors that spell out Arabic pride, and put it in the model of Israel’s flag… you will recall that it didn’t go over too well:

And so, on June 28, the US handed over psuedo-sovreignty to Iraq’s newly created interim government. And what flag stood there?

The old one.

We could have, you know, created a flag in the model of the old British Empire mode… a small symbol of the American flag in the corner, with…

Never mind.

1997 journal entries

Tuesday, June 29th, 2004

Everything Anybody Needs to Know About Civilization

I was chagrained when my English teacher returned my journal with the comment “Many dates and Messages are Meaningless. I found this message curious.

That is the context, and the reason why I wrote … the following… down.:

Everything Anybody Needs to Know About Civilization

Civilization is rooted in mankind’s desire to set up systems. Indeed, the history of civilization can be tracked back to the first time a homo-whatever began to plan out a system of finding oversized club things tokill large animals and knock down mates with.

Where Civilization Went Awry

Mankind, as monkey-oids, found a great void in their beings and began to wonder what was the point. They attempted to solve their problems of alienation by unleasing their feelings through three outlets: Religion, Art, and Brute Force.

Religion sort of conflicted with the other two outlets, and with itself.

Brute force caused much property damage. And people started finding it difficult to justify it. It felt like all it was was “boom boom.” But an idea struck someone: Let’s fight over religion!

Meanwhile, art lead to architecture, and the creation of the wheel.


at any rate, many of the artists discovered that by prostituting their art, they could become god-like in the eyes of many people. So we arrived at talentless rock bands and movie stars, most novelists, and that “Dogs Playing Poker” painter. Some stayed “pure”, but ended up in poverty, etc.

People began trading leaves for useful commodities. The idea sprung up, caught on, and before anyone knew it the leaves and their abstract value were more valuable than the commodities themselves. Before we knew it, the leaves were replaced with shiny rocks. Money somehow worked because everyone got it into their heads that it would work. Later on, Aspirin would have the same effect on the species.

So civilization has been on the decline since the ancient Greeks, and more precisely the period of that philosophical nut and that guy who discovered comedy and whosit– the man who found out why boats float…

An all instrusive government developed. The leaders (who had convinced the subjects that they were Gods) realized the full extent of their powers and wielded it to build really neat stuff whilst lying on their fat butts.


Now we get to the Roman Empire… History repeated itself a few times, and no new new things occured. The fall happened as some huge puny men were fighting tigers in the coliseum… but the tigers were not men in tiger suits, as they are these day.


These ancients decided, “Let’s shove our weird belief system down these Indians’ throats.” Soooo… they did. But the Indidans didn’t like it, so they killed them. (There’s a lot of death in the history of human civilization.) The religious fanatics decided to move on. SO, they set up a fort in Walla Walla. It’s an interesting enough story, how Whitman forged this into place, but it’s immaterial.


This goes back to the post-monkey era. Og, a very intelligent unshaven man…

Since the intelligentsia had now shed away the concepts of religion, all laws floated away. No God equals no Rules, you see. Someone famous said that — I think he may be Russian, I dunno. So the crumbling and unilateral burning of ideas went on without protest. Thwarting occurred throughout the world, the Earth if thou wish call “the world”.


Sunday, June 27th, 2004

Of interest to roughly nobody is an old book of BASIC computer game programs, circa 1984, that you type in (all 380 lines of) and… I suppose play.

Here’s some code for “Presidential Campaign”:

1890 PRINT “You have been found guilty and you”:PRINT “lose”; INT (100/(G-F)); #% of your support”:
1900 PRINT “You have been found guilty and thrown”:PRINT “in the federal penitentary at”:PRINT “LEavenworth, Kansas for twenty years.”:END

1950 PRINT “You have been found innocent.:GOTO 2370

Somewhere in this batch, I would have to add something to the effect of:

1960 PRINT “You have been found guilty, but have successfully spun out a scenario on the talking heads shows garners you “; INT (100/(G-F)); #% of your opponent’s support”

Guest Blogger: Dick Cheney

Saturday, June 26th, 2004

Let’s be frank here. You be dissing me a lot lately. Just the other day, I heard you sling the insult: “Yo Mama!”

Fuck you.

Did I say “Fuck you”? Well, some sources are reporting that what I actually said, and I quote, “F— you.”

Well, whichever one I just said right now, it was long overdue. Many of my colleagues are in complete agreement.

Well, that’s a load off of my chest.

Huh? What’s that? That… that… ain’t a nice thing to say.

We’re trying to change the tone here… and you bring things down to the level of a Howard Stern segment.

Take your fucking shit and shove it!

Variation of a Theme

Friday, June 25th, 2004

Some scam spam, derived from the old Nigerian millionaire exile, specifically tied to a recent development in international politics:


We have obviously not met and as such you may be astonished to
receive this mail. I am Mrs Jewel Taylor, the wife of the embattled
President of Liberia,

Charles Taylor. Following the offer of a Political asylum to my husband
by the Nigerian

Government, we arrived here in Abuja on the 11th of August, 2003.

My husband is now in Calabar in the south eastern part of Nigeria while
I, and the rest of the

family are in an undisclosed location here in Abuja. The reasons why I
here is to assist in

the protection of my husband’s scattered and battered investment as
as liaise with the

New Home Interim Government, now lead by Moses Blar and the

especially the West African Sub-regional Governments.

Due to the hurried way and manner that characterized my
husband’s exit from office.And coupled with the effect of the on going
war, the activities of

the rebels and the continuous seizure of my husband’s assets in the
world especially

in Swiss where over $150m bank investments has been confiscated. I then
carefully concealed

the sum of $45,000,000.00 (forty five million US Dollars) Which were
and packaged in

two (2) boxes and the boxes are presently being kept with a Security
House as Family

Treasure and the certificate of Deposit of the Treasures is in our
,We are appealing

for urgent assistance to move the fund to your country/private or
bank account or

any country where you believe the fund will be safe for investment.

The two boxes containing the above sum in cash were moved out of
Liberia a few days ago. The security firm has confirmed the safe
of the boxes. The

certificate of deposit issued by the firm is now with me. The content
the boxes are unknown

to anyone with the exception of the two of us. The boxes were moved
being marked as

diplomatic cargos. In such a way that no customs will query the cargo.

The reason that I write to you now is to request for your in- dept
in claiming this

cargoes from the Security firms affiliate offices in europe,u.a.e and
. Once you have

declared your intension to help my family with this. I will send you a
of attorney, the

certificate of deposit and also the address and contact phone and fax
of the company.

You will be well rewarded for doing our family this favour. 35% will be
yours while 5% will be

sent aside for all possible expenses that may have been incurred in the
course of the claims.

The rest 60% will be left for the entire family for nvestment through
guide in your country.

Since my movement is restricted by political law of asylum. You will be
introduced to a friend

and attorney of the family who is presently based in here to assist
He is incidentally our

family attorney in this country. He is Barrister Bayo Benson,his emails
address will be sent to

you as soon as you comply to my email.

I will like to stop so far while hoping to hear from you as soon as it
possible. Like I said

earlier, you should understand that someone enjoying political asylum
another man’s

country is legally bound from any form of economic transaction. This
this ransaction

very confidential. Please, if you can work with me you must keep my
Moreover, the

family has given you full trust and it will be expected that you will
let us down.


Yours truly,
JEWEL TAYLOR.(For the family)

Who comes us up with this stuff?

Speak Softly. Carry a Big Stick.

Thursday, June 24th, 2004

It’s post midnight at a bus-stop. The buses don’t take off that often, and judging by the schedule, I missed the previous bus by a few minutes and have to wait an obnoxious amount of time for the next one.

I’m standing with 3 other young men. An artistic type– the kind who eschews all television– a neighbor I see occasionally on the street, who creates his own clothes… he wears a small top hat. His slightly more culturally-in-tuned friend. And a third individual, on the other side of the bus stop.

The two discuss their late night bus-stop encounters with crack addicts. “So, he runs here… all paranoid, and goes into the corner, hiding behind me. I turn to him and say ‘Go away.’ He fidgets about, and it takes three demands for him to leave for him to leave.”

It’s an interesting conversation. I, myself, have on a few occasions accidentally thrown some signals to drug dealers and drug users. I must remember to modify my walking behaviour.

Along comes a guy, a decade and a half older than us twenty-somethings, waving a stick (seemingly from the bottom of a chair) in the air. “Hey!” He turns to the artistic type. “You support the troops?”


“‘Cause you gotta support the troops.”

“It depends on what you mean by the question. I don’t support war… like, ever. I guess I support people who feel strongly enough to… well, I hate the government’s action and I’m forced to differentate some things.”

“That’s cool.” The man walks ahead, still waving his stick in the air.

“Well, that was scary. But, seeing as he had a stick, I’m glad there wasn’t a wrong answer.”