Rumsfeld “misspoke”.

A comment Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld made during a Christmas Eve address to U.S. troops in Baghdad has sparked new conspiracy theories about the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

No they didn’t.

Everyone who’s anybody knows that the government shot Flight 93 down, and that in the end the story about those people running into the cockpit saying “Let’s Roll” was incorrect.

It is the most mundane of conspiracy theories, though. Yes. You shoot down hi-jacked planes after two (or rather 3) other hi-jacked planes killed thousands of people. That is what you do.

Overturning a previous resolution, the term “cracker” can now be used to attack the white enemy when the enemy does something evil in a class/national context (cracker prison guards, cracker KKK

I once gave my niece The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups for Christmas.

Prompting her mother, my sister, to say “Next you’ll be giving her The Teenage Liberation Handbook.”

I was mildly impressed, as I had only the barest awareness of such a book, having only seen it lying around while scuffling past some weird Anarchist Collective Presentation and… um… Organization Conference (???).

But it’s on some spheriod of “Homeschooling”, so it makes sense that the book bumped into her conciousness..

The problem here is that teenage is the new Bourgeoise, and I don’t know who said that and it only covers a few matters. (And I can’t say that I particularly care about any sort of Marxist ramnifications of such a statement.) By that I mean people listen to radio stations of music that they listened to as teenagers, pop-cultural artifacts bought by adults are largely aimed at that market (What is this “O.C.”?), and on and on. Basically, part-time job or not — a lack of responsibilities and a bit of disposable income (due to the lack of responsibilities: ie: free rent) and free time = the pop culture map is dictated by what is sold to a batch of high schoolers.

It gave me a queasy feeling when I was a teenager, easily brushed aside as “angst” and “hormones”…

In a way, once I realize this factor the whole of public education starts making sense. Questions ranging from: Why am I watching Channel 1? to Why are they herding me into a 90 minute pep assembly? Because it’s not entirely education… it’s something altogether different. It’s cultural indoctrination.

In the meantime, Christmas is for the Children…

This year’s list of “hot toys” includes the YMCA-dancing Elmo doll.

I hope nobody gave my niece (or nephews, or other niece) that toy. It is one reason to hate Christmas, by the way, and I guess when she grows up to read “The Teenage Liberation Handbook”… well… I don’t know.

The arguments that “Christmas is being ruined by secularists” falls completely flat at the first sight of Jesus Christ standing next to Santa on a manger scene.

I always thought the lyrics went “Making Spirits Cry.” Apparently it’s “Making Spirits Bright”.

Both lines raise serious questions.

I think most of the Christmas carols have lyrics that are simply marmaled in my mind’s eyes.

Making Spirits Cry???

I had a dream last night.

Jesus was doing that “fish and bread” thing where he divides loaves of bread and fish to feed a huge crowd.

Only he was doing it with pizza.

And he was trying to poison us all with a computer virus. The pizza was synthetic, and infused with an email virus.

And we’re supposed to be “putting” this asshole back into “AssholeMas”? Sheesh.

(*Note: The guy doing this had absolutely no resemblance to any common likeness of Jesus, nor did anyone think of him as Jesus, nor was there a great deal lot of pizzas around the place… actually, I’m not sure it was even pizza… it may have been enchiladas.

But now I’m rambling on the incoherency of remembering dreams, an act which is a boring no-no…)

Macy’s Department Store Clerk: Thank you. Come again. Happy Holidays.
Customer, Crusader for Christmas: Merry Christmas.
Clerk: Sure. (looks to next customer)
Customer: No. Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Clerk: Yes?
Customer: Mery Fucking Christmas, asshole. (storms off in disbelief.)

Or something like that.

Well, now I know who the culprits of the plot against Christmas are.

The Jews.

That has changed, you may have noticed. And I blame my fellow Jews. When it comes to pushing the multicultural, anti-Christian agenda, you find Jewish judges, Jewish journalists, and the American Civil Liberties Union, at the forefront.

It is the ACLU, which is overwhelmingly Jewish in terms of membership and funding, that is leading the attack against Christianity in America. It is they who have conned far too many people into believing that the phrase “separation of church and state” actually exists somewhere in the Constitution.

Got that?

It’s the Jews.

If it sounds too goddamned unbelievable, and fits a little neatly into your worldview…

… it probably is too good to be true.

Usage Note: Xmas has been used for hundreds of years in religious writing, where the X represents a Greek chi, the first letter of, “Christ.” In this use it is parallel to other forms like Xtian, “Christian.” But people unaware of the Greek origin of this X often mistakenly interpret Xmas as an informal shortening pronounced (ksms). Many therefore frown upon the term Xmas because it seems to them a commercial convenience that omits Christ from Christmas.

If I can’t get the ACLU to act like a cartoon version of themselves, I’ll have to turn to the more extreme offshoot of the ACLU — that is, the ECLU. The ECLU is kind of to the ACLU what Extreme Wrestling Federation was to the WWF, before that company bought EWF…

On the other hand, the American Cow Launchers Union is to the American Civil Liberteries Union what the World Wildlife Federation was to the other WWF before the lawsuit.

Anyway… So you are the Christ you’re the great Jesus Christ
Prove to me that you’re divine – change my water into wine
That’s all you need to do then I’ll know it’s all true
C’mon King of the Jews…