“Walla Walla?”
“We should go to Walla Walla!”
“Where’ Walla Walla?”
“Oh, Eastern Oregon.”
“What’s in Walla Walla?”
“I just want to go because of the name.  Hey!  There’s  a Boring, Oregon!”
“Huh?  Is it dull?”
“It’s like all of Eastern Oregon.  We passed a sign … ‘Taxes Paying for Your Abortions’.  And…”
“Oh, Weed.  Everyone goes there just to get that ‘High On Weed’ shirt.

“So, what did you think of the cartoon I gave you yesterday?”
“It was okay.  But it’s not going to bring down the government.”

“Attention Powell’s Employees.  If you are aware of a book about Star Trek that concerns cats or a book about cats that concerns Star Trek, please offer your advice at the red desk.  Customers invited too.”

I am trying to parse the meaning of this Intercom message.  Does this person making the request have a book in their mind, hazy memory?  Is this a gift idea — this idea that this person likes Cats and likes Star Trek, so maybe they’d like hybrid of the two?  And, is there a hierarchy here  — should they find a Star Trek book with a cat element in it as well as a cat book with a Star Trek element in it, which would they choose?

UPDATE:  Okay.  I’m guessing this is what they may have in mind.  Your standard cat themed fan fic.  Naturally you can also look up images and see … erm… people putting their cats in Star Trek uniforms.  Scary stuff.

For the past decade at least, we’ve had this annual Halloween tradition where, for instance, a site like the Huffington Post will display those over sexy costumes, which will be the most viewed page for the moment.  And the question — outraged or titillated — be sure to study each image and  decide for yourself.

You traverse from there to the appropriateness of the “sexy inanimate object” — there’s a sexy pizza costume out there, as the Daily Show mentioned.  To which I end up thinking — oh, why not?  Since we’ve traveled into this realm, we may as well add this surrealistic flair to this.  Better that than the appropriation of “sexy Indian woman”.  (Here we get some side-wind from “the right”, complaining to a college that they’re taking the “fun” out of Halloween for sending a letter suggesting students shouldn’t do this one — curious as they’d be some of the ones who’d be pooh-poohing a hyper- sexualized culture, if not the sexism track.)

Okay.  All this aside.  I was watching a parade of Halloween revelers this last weekend.  Twenty something year old club goer types, I suppose.  And there were those “skanky” costumes.  What puzzled me about some of them was… for the life of me I couldn’t tell what some of them were.  It was like… a tight fitting shirt and short shorts.  Which in most other settings I might figure was maybe de norm — except these outfits were clearly costumes — made of a polyster fabric type not normally worn, and not what is worn in any even the circumstance described.  In tow with a man wearing a Monsters (as in the series of Monsters movies) — green one eyed kooky bulging shirt — I’m thinking … I guess that’s a sexy sailor girl — maybe?  I … think the color scheme is right with that… maybe?

And here my problem with the “sexy Halloween costumes” becomes one where … Now I just want to be able to identify what the costume is a sexy version of.  But this may mark a full turn.  From “Sexy thing that makes some sense to make sexy” to “sexy thing that makes no sense to make sexy” to just “sexy”.

Confused by the purpose of this bumper sticker.

“Not A Republican”.

Weird.  My only guess is that the owner placed that there due to the license plate.  Tennessee.

Which begs the question.  Is there a “Not A Democrat” bumper sticker for some state license plates driving through some parts of the country?

Gatorade.  On sale.  88 cents.
Powerade.  On sale.  89 cents.

What sort of sales algorithm and corporate price battle brought us to this price differential?

… while passing the Church of Scientology building …

“Dad, What’s Scientology?”
“Oh, Don’t worry about it.”

………….

Actually I found a discarded Scientology book of some vintage, with a whole mass of writing all over the inside covers.  I was thinking of transcribing it — but my best guess is that it’s, like, an immature 17 year old boy trying (reasonably well, actually) to be potty mouthed in writing mock letters of “I want to be sexually dominated” manner.

Small boy sitting on his father’s shoulder walking down the street.  Down the street, a woman is dressed, for whatever reason, is a Snow White costume.  He points at her, and says “Hey!  Snow White!”

A few seconds later, the boy laments.  “I wish I could be a girl.”
The dad, with a cautious tremble I attribute to minor hetero-normalitive fears, asks, “Why’s that?”
“Because,” the boy says.  “Then I could use the girl’s bathroom.”

[…]

Now, I know it may be a mistake to analyze the “Kids say the darnedest thing” utterances like this, but…
Huh?
No, really.  I was kind of expecting that the kid would reply — coming off of seeing Snow White — with “Then I could wear a dress” or “be a princess” or some such flashing fancy of Gender Envy —

And here I note that feminists shouldn’t be the only ones worrying about Disney’s Princess-Marketing effect on little girls; Traditionalist Christians may want to worry about its effect on little boys —

— but–
You’re not really missing anything in the girl’s bathroom.  Are you?

One of those things I saw posted somewhere on the other, against a telephone pole.

CONSTITUTION
for the
NEW
SOCIALIST
REPUBLIC IN
NORTH AMERICA
(Draft Proposal)
From the Revolutionary Communist Party, USA

I don’t know if this is a plug for such a thing, or not.  And I actually want to know what the person who posted it to the telephone pole had in mind here — are they plugging it or warning against it?

It got the World Net Daily in a huff a few years ago, apparently.  (I’d be a hypocrite if I wonder too loudly “Why are you even paying attention?”)

So… Want a copy?  Available at Wal-Mart!

I saw a man running down the street, to arrive at a position in front of a major Bus Stop Intersection.  He was holding a sign.  Which had two pictures on it.  One was of Adolf Hitler.  The other — right next to Hitler — someone not as recognizable.

“Neal McFarlane,” the sign waver helped me out.  “CEO of Tri-Met.”

“Cool,” I said, before walked off — my curiosity satiated.

Now, granted, there are legitimate issues to be had with the operation of the city’s public transportation — pay raises to top executives against the backdrop of service cuts and ticket price increases and the demands of putting unused trains into spots that aren’t using them —

But, you can figure me if my general reaction is… “Huh?”

Is the message that if Adolf Hitler’s power were restricted to that of operation of public transportation bureau, he would operate it as Neal McFarlane has Tri-Met?  I suppose there’s something of pointing to Adolf’s friend Benito Mussolini, who I’ve read counter-veiling opinions pro and against that he “Kept the Trains going on time”.  (The Peter Principle in action with him.)  I have to wonder what would happen if you hired Hitler to walk your dog — or, is there a Nazi method of walking a dog?

In sum: the only city employee who should be placed next to an image of Hitler is Mark Kruger.