Libertarian National Socialist Green Party.

You know, back in high school — Junior and Senior year — when I was fond of creating little jokey junk in my TI-82 calculator, a source of bemusement for me was to slide various contradictory elements together.

Thus, I have a profile of a fictional person who was the “First African American president for the Ku Klux Klan”. Pause. Press “Enter” on the calculator. “Organized the most massive Mass – Lynching in KKK History”. Pause. Press “Enter” on the calculator. “Believed to have committed suicide on that date.”

Ba De Dum.

“Ran For the Presidential Nomination for the Stalinist Totalitariarian Nazi Death Party” Pause. Press “Enter” on the calculator. “Lost” Pause. Press “Enter” on the calculator. “Was the leader of the ‘Moderate Wing’ of the Stalinst Totalitarian Nazi Death Party, advocating an increase in school lunch assistance programs, favoured affirmative action, and favoured a slightly lower tax rate, than the rigidly ideological members of the party.”

Ba De Dum.

Libertarian National Socialist Green Party. I can’t run with those jokes too far, because… well… someone out there would be apt to take them seriously:

The old site was about as PC as is conceivably possible for a self-proclaimed Nazi organization. Since it was anti-racist and didn’t really promote even ethnic nationalism it was inconsistent with National Socialism aside from being postmoral and biocentric (“nature before humanity”). This pissed off a lot of the neonazi morons and confused just about everyone else. At that time the “party” and website probably was for the most part a sort of esoteric joke of [Craig] Smith’s. Not that it was unserious but more that it was taking the piss out of modern politics. That element remains in the party name and symbol but the ironic posing of the old site seems to have taken a back seat.

And before you know it, it’s an actual real honest to gosh political party, that’s either taking itself seriously or continuing its farce.:

such as it were.

The wheels turn round and round.

Something I posted erstwhere: Bill Frist is trying to figure out how to win the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primary. Tom DeLay has an Ethics Controversy swirving over his head, generally fended off in the background — mostly due to the power he wields. And you throw Senator Nelson of Florida, D, on the spot while you’re at it.

As though to prove my point about Tom DeLay, we find this nutty quote, shades of “Vast Left Wing Conspiracy”.

“One thing that God has brought to us is Terri Schiavo, to help elevate the visibility of what is going on in America,” Mr. DeLay told a conference organized by the Family Research Council, a conservative Christian group. A recording of the event was provided by the advocacy organization Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

Mr. DeLay complained that “the other side” had figured out how “to defeat the conservative movement,” by waging personal attacks, linking with liberal organizations and persuading the national news media to report the story. He charged that “the whole syndicate” was “a huge nationwide concerted effort to destroy everything we believe in.”

It’s a curious charge for perhaps the most powerful member of the undoubtedly most powerful Party to be throwing out… that those mean (and, I might add, powerless) liberals keep sniping away… despite everything. (I mean, Don’t they realize they lost an election?)

I am confused as to what story DeLay is referring to that the instruments of vindictive vilous hate are persuading the national news media to report. Something on the order of David Brooks’s column? I don’t know.

After Louis Helder was apprehended for pipe-bombing mail-boxes across mid-America, the website to his band became public, and the number of downloads to the bands’ song rose from a trickle of one or two every few days to tens of thousands… the number of downloads paving away to money earned meant, likewise, a profit margin that went from $0.00 to an average of maybe $25 per day for a duration of a week… until Louis Helder’s 15 minutes of fame ended. (The band, I’m guessing after a quick decision to disband, made the comment on their now-well commented ‘guest board’ — “We’ve disabled this guestboard. For obvious reasons.”)

(Likewise, every band named “Apathy” had a sudden influx of hits, and a disclaimer “We are not that Apathy”.)

A morbid curiosity to see whatever the two mass murderers at Columbine High School stuck up online lead me, sometime in the summer of 1999, to find a bad Vertigo Comics-inspired 20-something’s writings, someone who unfortunately had gone to the high school several years prior, had nothing to do with any “Trenchcoat Mafia” except for a fondness for wearing trenchcoats, and nicknamed himself “The Trencher”… today, for what it is worth, it’s a right-wing blog…

Do a quick google search for the Minnesota news story of the moment. Not surprisingly, “NativeNazi”‘s, profile on the “nazi.org” forum is gone.

As has the entire forum. All that is left is the google cache. So, I bring in a sort of perverse interest, some of the writings and discussions for “NativeNazi”, aka something else that will be obviously the same individual. The question I have is this: How many Master Races can there be before the words of Almighty Hitler are perverted beyond repair?:

Jul 18th, 2004, 3:55pm
Breeding out the purity in all races is not the way to go. Not the way to go at all. I disagree with you on that, as well as your idea to create a “master race.”

The absurd gets absurder.:

Title: Re: Native American Nationalists?
Post by Todesengel on Apr 19th, 2004, 11:41pm
——————————————————————————–
Hmn, after a recent discussion with some misinformed people I had to ask you guys, why are people so close minded?

I may young, but I’m willing to help.

Jul 20th, 2004, 4:17pm
Anymore Native American NS’s? Not right now, though I’m thinking of recruiting a few for the party once school starts up again.

They (teachers) don’t openly say that racial purity is wrong, yet when you speak your mind on the subject you get “silenced” real quick by the teachers and likeminded school officials…

AND

Jul 19th, 2004, 11:33am
Apparently a lot of people have never heard of a Native American National Socialist, which surprises me.

Sorry if I didn’t answer some of the questions in the ways you had hoped, but I’m a little tired right now. I’d be happy to field anymore questions you may have for me though.

At any rate, our collection of Nazis of various ethnicities come to this discussion:

Post by spiritinblack on Jul 14th, 2004, 9:00am
——————————————————————————–
http://www.politics1.com/parties.htm

——————————————————————————–
Title: Re: About the LNSG
Post by NativeNazi on Jul 14th, 2004, 10:52am
——————————————————————————–
I have a feeling the only reason the party was picked apart so thoroughly was because of the use “National Socialist” in it’s name, and I also have a strong suspicion that the owner of the site may be Jewish, but I’m not that good with last names so I can’t be 100% sure.

The discussion continues, as our hapless Nazis of various ethnicities decide whether or not this political party is real, and decide that we can’t let the idea be a joke…

It gets boring from there…

Native American Nazis… Maybe “Mein Kampf” was too difficult for the kid. We need a “Mein Kampf for Dummies” edition…

When Joseph Lieberman proclaimed the Delaware Primary as the starting point of his 2004 Democratic Nomination Comeback, he was met with a certain amount of laughter and derision (“JOE-Mentum”, indeed!) But, it should be noted, that he was actually evoking the 1996 Steve Forbes campaign.

Steve Forbes, of course, didn’t get too far after winning Delaware, except a brief moment where he was ahead of Bob Dole and the indefatiguable Pat Buchannan in the polls. But, after watching, to one degree or another, four primary seasons I’ve come to the odd conclusion that whoever the party bosses want in will pretty well be the Party nominees, and there’s nothing anyone out here can do about it. Thus it’s Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, George W Bush (and not John McCain), John Kerry (not Howard Dean). Hillary Clinton is coming up, and I don’t know who the Republican Hierarchy wants yet.

Steve Forbes’s platform was a narrow one: Just implement a Flat Tax, and all our nation’s problems (those that we see and those that nobody sees) will be solved. It was a platform that attracted its following — (cult following? All politicians’ followings are cults.) — amongst a set of the public that believes whole-heartedly in the Wall Street Journal editorial page and considers the scribbling the “Laffler Curve” on a bar-napkin one of the Great Moments in American History.

Bob Dole pushed back Steve Forbes. Pat Buchannan hang around a while. Lamar Alexandar made bitter comments about how he was surging in New Hampshire (where he came in third) before Steve Forbes’s money drowned him in the next round of primaries. And nothing noticable came out of the whole mess.

In the next primary season, Steve Forbes realized that he could not win the nomination on Economic Righteousness alone. Thus, he remade himself into someone who particularly cares about Abortion and various Right-wing social causes. It didn’t really get him too far, and you really can’t just jump onto a cause without any past moment to consider — look back in the back issues of Forbes Magazine and list for me all the editorials hailing School Prayer or Excoriating Homosexual Marriage, and I’m guessing that it will be a pretty short list.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist must be trying to figure out how he can possibly win the Iowa Caucuses and New Hampshire Primary right about now… because, really, you do not want to have to rely on winning Delaware. He’s a politico of little charisma and not much personal charm (And, I might add, used to kill kittens*).

Establishing Pro-Life bonafides is Job #1 for him right now.

*I feel obligated to point out Bill Frist’s kitten-killing past with each and other mention of the man.

Evidentally, someone somewhere took the Johnny Cash song “When the Man Comes Around” and made a music video that serves as a haliography of George W. Bush out of it.

I can’t find the video — all I find immediately are praises from Rush Limbaugh Online and Free Republic.

I didn’t say it adequately before…..This is awesome. I believe this has captured the evil of the terrorist, the sinister mainstream press, the dangerous left, and the greatness of GWB. Thank You,

Yes. That is exactly what has been captured.

It’s no longer here. It’s online… somewhere.

Curiously enough, I always thought of it as something of an anti-Bush song.

I don’t understand why everybody is saying that Mark McGwire came off badly during the Congressional hearings, while all the other baseball players came off okay.

It’s all based on the idea that Sammy Sosa and company said that they never used Steroids, while Mark McGwire evaded the question while cynically evoking a higher purpose on how this line of questioning won’t get us anywhere: if a player admits using steroids, they’ll be attacked — if a player doesn’t say he used steroids he won’t be believed, and where’s this all going anyway?

The idea is that it is now obvious that Mark McGwire used steroids, and his silence speaks voumes — he can’t speak on the matter without avoiding perjuring himself. (He can lie to the press before taking the stand, but he can’t lie under oath.)

But I’m thinking (granted, I didn’t bother to watch any of the proceedings, and only heard about some of the events because they were in the way of more pertinent matters) he came across well enough. After all, imagine if it came out — indisputably — that Sammy Sosa jacked up on Steroids. Then, I ask again: who comes out the bigger jackass — McGwire or Sosa?

I think the answer is obvious. So why’s everyone harping on McGwire here? He did the only decent thing a steroid-using baseball player could do!

I’m so glad my spammers are so very literate. More literate than your spammers, I imagine:

… so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those
who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious
and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
— Voltarine de Cleyre

And there’s your pitch for a cheap prescription drug source.

In the meantime, if you desire to buy this book:

Perhaps in the one marketed to College Republicans…

My brother Jeff has a bookstore.

Sit Barry Goldwater’s book next to William Buckley’s God and Man at Yale and you’re all set for your retro fit – Young Republicans book club.

Well, actually the best review of a Pinkwater book came from a webpage from 1997 (or 1998?) on The Education of Robert Nifkin. It started with “This is the time of year that pre-schoolers experience alphabet envy” and discussed how the “letters jump of the page”. But, this one — from 1982 — comes in second:

In the first few pages of “Young Adult Novel” we read that Kevin Shaprio’s mother is locked away in a madhouse and his father is a living vegetable as a result of an explosion in a methane factory. Kevin’s sister works the bars near the local bus depot as a prostitute, and Kevin supports himself by stealing and selling drugs in the schoolyard. How about that for an opening for a comic novel for preteens?

In “Young Adult Novel” Mr. Pinkwater smothers his young readers with a racy bonhommie that smacks too much of adults who think they are getting close to young people by slam dancing with them, an enterprise distressing to children and degrading to adults.

I orignially read it as part one of three in Young Adults, thus I tend to forget that it was once published as a piece of work unto itself. But it is worth noting that when it came time to publish it in “5 Novels” — the second and third parts were left out because the publisher found it too vulgar. This one was acceptable.

I wonder if this was the review that sparked Pinkwater to write that it was his “devout hope that in time he may be able to produce acceptable books about cute furry animals — and for the older reader — stories about high schools in California with really good athletic programs and uniformly attractive students.” Mysteries run around the place.

Events at good old Himmler High School continue apace. The second part features the kids getting out of meetings with a psychologist by telling him (as they surmise he’s obsessed with the topic) that they masturbate all the time. The third part continues apace, and has a sex scene.

I don’t know. I was 16 when I read this. It’s not “The Blue Moose”.

I find George Bush terribly insincere here:

I like the idea of people running for office. It’s a positive effect when you run for office, you know. Maybe someone will run for office and say, Vote for me, I look forward to blowing up America. I don’t know. I don’t know if that’ll be their platform or not. But it’s– I don’t think so. I think people generally run for office say, Vote for me; I’m looking forward to fixing your potholes or making sure you got bread on the table.

I don’t know. I think our government would do everything in its powers to undermine a candidate running on the “Death to America” platform, but maybe I’m mistaken.

Hezzbollah could probably do the pothole thing and the “Death to America” thing… except, not so much America as Israel.

Hm?

We are the mediocre presidents
You won’t find our faces on dollars or on cents
There’s Taylor, there’s Tyler, there’s Fillmore and there’s Hayes!
There’s William Henry Harrison – “I died in thirty days!”
We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the U.S.A!

Come gather ’round children
It’s high time ye learns
About a hero named Homer
And a devil named Burns
We’ll march ’til we drop
The girls and the fellas
We’ll fight ’til the death
Or else fold like umbrellas
So, we’ll march day and night
By the big cooling tower
They have the plant, but we have the power

[Lyle Lanley] Well sir, there’s nothin’ on earth like a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What’d I say?
[Ned Flanders] Monorail!
[Lyle] What’s it called?
[Patty & Selma] Monorail
[Lyle] That’s right, monorail!
[All chant] Monorail, monorail, monorail…
[Ms Hoover] I hear those things are awfully loud
[Lyle] It glides as softly as a cloud
[Apu] Is there a chance the track could bend?
[Lyle] Not on your life, my Hindu friend
[Barney] What about us braindead slobs?
[Lyle] You’ll be given cushy jobs
[Grampa] Were you sent here by the devil?
[Lyle] No, good sir, I’m on the level
[Chief Wiggum] The ring came off my pudding can
[Lyle] Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it’s Springfield’s only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
Monorail!
What’s it called?
Monorail!
Once again!
Monorail!
[Marge] But Main Street’s still all cracked and broken
[Bart] Sorry, mom, the mob has spoken
[All] Monorail! Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[Homer] Mono- d’oh!