There was a letter in last Sunday’s “Parade Magazine” newspaper insert. It went like this.

Q. Are there any politicians in France and Germany who aren’t anti-American?
—Gregory N., Chicago, Ill.

A. Yes. In fact, the next elections in both countries may well lead to the emergence of new, friendlier leaders. In Germany, Angela Merkel, leader of the pro-American Christian Democratic Union, is expected to take over as chancellor. And in France, Nicolas Sarkozy, a staunch ally of America, is expected to replace the consistently anti-American President Jacques Chirac.

I’m pondering the question and the answer. It seems to come from a sort of myopia of how other nations’ politicians shoud acceptably behave… which is, to follow lock-stop behind the interests of the American elites. What the heck is “anti-American” about Jacques Chirac and Schroeder? Both of them politically tapped into anti-Iraq War sentiment, largely cynically, to prolong their political careers. Anything less would make them terrible at pandering.

I recall during the Iraq War, probably right after the statue-falling triumph, someone commenting that “Turkey made a huge mistake by not letting Americans use their land.” This made no sense to me. Beyond anything else, Turkey is as democratic a state as there is in the Muslim world.

Once again, a myopia as to what a state gains or doesn’t gain from these things.

I’m tempted to lower the “Color Code” to either blue or green (Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch.)

Reasons:
#1: The “War on Terror” was recently (albeit temporarily) renamed the “Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism”. “GSAVE”. GWOT.

Apparently, Bush (1) still desires the “war” concept and (2) Nobody told him about this goddamned change.

#2: Bush is on vacation. This suggests that all is well everywhere and anywhere. Otherwise, the leader of the Free World would be hard at work, facing the troubles of the day. Eisenhower was often called the “Golfer in Chief” — he generally remembered amiably as floating the US around the crises of the moment. Bush is Eisenhower. What can possibly go wrong while on vacation? (Note: there’s this absolutely fascinating press conference that took place at Bush’s Crawford ranch circa that month-long vacation Bush took in the summer of 2001, basically of reporters asking what the dog was up to and how much fun Bush had removing brush that day. It’s on whitehouse.gov, but I can’t immediately find it.)

Unlike years ago, they say, when FDR and Truman were Presidents, the recent past has been filled with what America might call “fungible Presidents.” You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, so to speak. The reason that most people shove them all in the same basket is that the rhetoric is amazingly the same, what gets done is relatively elusive and tends to be here today, and gone tomorrow – the pattern of Presidents that come and go. Even the brighter lights are folded into the pages of history with amazing obscurity. It’s possible that the White House of today isn’t run the same it was in the days of more prominent Presidents, or perhaps longer terms are necessary to augment the common demeanor that is so much a part of public protocol in fulfilling their duties. Far from spectacular, most have been what the public senses as mediocre, momentary alpha characters drawn from a flurry of political insiders hoping to garnish their day in the sun with a style too often the same, an endless array of suits to accompany the suits of today and yesterday. Perhaps the weakness is in the American people, fed ever heightened genre of action films that renders Presidents more ordinary than not, or maybe Americans have simply seen too many come and go. The ability to retain a memory often resides with the spectacular now, or rooted in war zones of the men who fought there. In the endless parade over a lifetime, as we see from history, only history tends to remember their names, much less their records. Passing into the night, few retain former prominence or popularity without the constant, continuous beat of their drums……for those who will listen……unique soldiers of their own fortune, and of America’s effort to make progress in an ancient world. Should they be more, a greater model of humanity, perhaps, or the wise sage of the past that envisioned the future? Possibly, but is the public willing and able to allow that persona to develop wings when they know that in four years, or eight at best, it will be yet another soldier at the helm?

(Two pennies to whomever can tell me where I got that from.)

If Schmidt’s victory margin is in double digits, this tells us that there is not much of an anti-GOP wind in Ohio right now. If the margin is say six to nine points for Schmidt, then there is a wind, but certainly no hurricane. A Schmidt win of less than five points should be a very serious warning sign for Ohio Republicans that something is very, very wrong, while a Hackett victory would be a devastating blow to the Ohio GOP.

Thus saideth Charles Cook, professional political prognesticator and pollster.

We began this race way back in late March, and no one had thought we’d be the focus of the national media or be the so-called first test of the Republican Party and the Bush mandate. Well, ladies and gentleman, we passed that test.

Thus saideth the victorious candidate, Jean Schmidt. The comedy of the statement comes due to the reason why “nobody thought [they’d] be the focus of the national media or be the so-called first test of the Republican Party and the Bush mandate.”

Which is to say… she won by three and a half percentage points. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. It wasn’t supposed to be like that at all.

Hackett told USA Today that Bush’s taunting line, “Bring ’em on!” was “the most incredibly stupid comment I’ve ever heard a president of the United States make.” He also told the newspaper that, while he was willing to put his life on the line for the president, “I’ve said that I don’t like the son-of-a-[expletive] that lives in the White House.”

Both the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee have bought TV time for commercials over the weekend. “He called the commander in chief a son-of-a-[expletive],” said NRCC spokesman Carl Forti. “We decided to bury him.”

Does a three-and-a-half point victory count in this district count as a “burial” of candidate Hackett? I don’t know. I do know, or do believe, that Hackett probably would not have come as close as he did had he not shouted out such rhetoric… tapping into Ohio’s frustration on state and national politics as of the moment. (How many Ohio National Guards do we hear about in the news as the latest casualties of the Iraq War?) Nor would he have had the credibility in the public eye if it weren’t for his service in the Iraq War. Which is the trouble for the Democratic Party — whom are they going to recruit to make a race of these races?

But, in the end, Schmidt won, and Hackett has a “moral victory”. A victory is a victory. Even if your victory margin is some 40 points less than any victory margin your party has held in three decades.

2004: Rob J. Portman * (R) 72
Charles W. Sanders (D) 28
2002: Portman (R): 74%
Sanders (D): 26%
2000: Portman: (R): 74%
Sanders: 24%
1998: Portman: 76%
Sanders: 24%

And the election returns are like that. The Democratic Party has won all of nine elections in this district since the dawn of its existence.

A moral victory isn’t a victory. Just ask Al Gore. But… there’s this problem that John Kerry faced in campaigning in the critical swing state of Ohio in 2004. There were no local popular Democrats he could campaign with. He stood behind John Glenn, out of politics since the 1980s (off the moon since the 1960s). Ohio is a one-party state, which serves to explain why everything is going hay-wire for their Republican Party right now… the governor has a nineteen percent (or thereabouts) approval rating.

Now, Paul Hackett probably has to be key-noting the next Ohio Democratic State Convention. His moral victory is simply this: in any other district in the state of Ohio (save, perhaps one), he would have won this race.

And Senator Mike DeWine has to be wondering right now.

“Ask that guy over there!”
“Erm?”
“Who’s Ben Franklin?
“Um. Hm.” (Tricky one, not so much that I don’t know who he is, but I don’t know what from Franklin I’m supposed to latch onto. I’m so tempted to say “Poor Richard’s Almanak”, but somehow that seems… emptyish.) “A founder of this country.” (Feel a bit annoyed because that’s a bit vague.)
As it turned out the answer they were looking for was “Free Mason”.
“Wasn’t he president?”
“NO. No he wasn’t.”
“But he’s on money!”
“He’s the exception to the rule that they place presidents on US money. Well… he and Susan B Anthony, but that doesn’t really count.”
“Wasn’t he that guy with the kite?”
“Yes. Yes he was.”
“Also a Free Mason.”
“Probably.”
“[Name of friend of his] sent me some copies of a book on the Illuminati. She asked ‘Do you believe in the Illuminati’ and I was, like, f’ yeah!”

From there the conversational cross-currents got weird. He knows everything about the Illuminati, and the Free Masons’s place in it. Just not a lot about Benjamin Franklin.

You see this comic book?

America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists.

The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.

The creators of this comic believe that they are being original. But really, it’s just a rehash of the 80s comic book Reagan’s Raiders.

Am I wrong there?

Leave a blog-entry, and I’ll probably throw the blog entry back up through the channel. Thus, the curiously named PBS Watch comments on Tom Tracaedo’s statements about hypothetically nuking Muslim holy sites in the event of a nuclear terror attack.

Really, the main thing I want to know is: I don’t see much PBS Watching here. “We watch PBS so you don’t have to.” Take stock of the latest Tinkie Winkie dalliances, or the very existance of Bill Moyers on a public affairs program a year back. Exualt Tomlison’s work on behalf of Fairness and Balance. Comment on Jim Lehrer’s facial expression. Whatever.

Then again, where’s my Skull and Bones?

I could never sleep my way to the top
‘Cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up
And since my options had been whittled away
I struck a bargain with my radio DJ
I said I’d like this song to be number one
He said “I’d really really like to help you my son”
And then I knew that I would have him to thank
Because he asked me how much I had in the bank

He said the record wouldn’t have to be hot
And no one ever seemed to care if it’s not
It would depend on something else that I’ve got
And that the other ones who’d given it a shot
Had seen a modest sum grow geometrically
And then they had forgiven themselves
Because the net reward had justified
The colossal mess they’d made of their lives.

“Please be advised that in this week’s Jennifer Lopez Top 40 Spin Increase of 236 we bought 63 spins at a cost of $3,600.”

Ironically, it didn’t help, as the memo notes that the company actually lost spins — or plays of the record — even though they laid out money for them.

Well, I told you about the world (its address)
I wonder when they’re gonna clean up the mess
You know the rabid child is still tuning in
Chess piece face’s patience must be wearing thin
Because they haven’t played this song on the air
Not that anyone but me even cared
And the Disk Jockey has moved out of town
The district courthouse says he’s nowhere to be found
………………..

This takes us back to … the rise of Limp Bizkit, and the Portland connection to said rise.

Question: Why don’t I make more references to the term “Islamo-Fascists”?

I suspect in three decades, we will look back at the term “Islamo-Fascist” and think of it in the same vein as “Japanazis”. Were there Japanese Nazis, or members of the German National Socialist Party and Third Reich of Japanese ancestory or Japanese citizens who bore allegiance not to the Emperor of Japan but to Adolf Hitler?

Likely not. If you can find one, it’s the rule that proves the exception. I am willing to call him a “Japanazi.”

Islamo-Fascist maybe isn’t as embarrassing. You parse out the definition of “fascism”, and throw it in the junk-heap entirely (clinging to the narrow similarities, ie: rigid hierarchical obediance). See how this works?

Soemthing I need to work on a bit, but when I get around to changing the National Educational Standards — and No Child Will Be Left Behind–, I will include this puzzle in its most well-thought out form.

2 automobiles are heading in the same direction in different lanes of a 1 way street. The start of one car is 3 feet ahead of the start of the other car. Each red traffic light starts three seconds behind the last traffic light and lasts a full minute. The first green traffic light, the one that moved the cars to be separated by 3 feet, and assuming the response times to the yellow light are identical, how many red traffic lights will it take before the two cars gain further separation?