Sometimes I end up a bit perturbed at the most minor of grievances. Thus it is that I grated my teeth reading Charles Peters’s “Tilting at Windmills” in the June Washington Monthly and getting to his spiel on Adlai Stevenson, confronted with this:

My father like many other Democrats of the 30s and 40s, thought of himself as a “common man”. Indeed, a liberal leader of that era even wrote a book called The Century of the Common Man, a term that disappared from the Democratic vocabulary with Stevenson’s Emergence. But in the 30s and 40s, men like my father valued the plain spekings of their heroes — Will Rogers, Roosevelt, and Truman, who cared more about making themselves clear to the average American than showing how smart they were.

How hard is to state that that “liberal leader” was Henry Wallace? Or does that lead into an unwanted segue into Henry Wallace and his politics?

Perhaps the prominent use of the phrase “Common Man” by a politician who lost favor by the American people as his association came to be as a Soviet Communist Dupe is part of the picture here.

I don’t know.  The absence of this detail does complicate the picture, though.

I can’t say I care for the Rose Festival very much.  Or its three parades.  I recognize it as a money making enterprise for the city, if not in the immediacy of its essence than in promotion, and thus I wouldn’t do away with it.  But the old lady who mowed on through the children’s parade the other day has become something of a Folk Hero amongst some Portlanders, as we all are able to identify with her plight: Why are there children marching in the middle of the street I need to use to get from Point A to Point B?
I had the misfortune of winding up in the middle of the crowd at the end of last weekend’s parade.  I’ll be sure to avoid that from happening again this weekend.  This weekend being, somehow or other, the Big One.  Bigger than the other one.  I don’t know what the differation between the two parades are — what plunders through one and what plunders through the other — nor do I particularly care.  I do know that tomorrow’s parade has the added nauseating effect of the viewers taping “reservations” and bolting lawn-chairs on the sidewalk.

I understand people have made it a tradition to come around with bolt-cutters and pick up a lawn chair or two.  This makes sense.  If I were to leave, say, my stereo on the sidewalk on any day of the year, I would expect it to be picked up by someone.  Such should the case with these lawnchairs.

With all this in mind, the Portland Mercury organized a clean-up squad to walk down the sidewalks and remove the reservation tape, and perhaps a lawn-chair or two.  Go to their site for all the coverage.  And throw your support to Randy Leonard for his anti-taping measure.

Actually, to be honest, I don’t care all that much.  Go ahead and tape it up, if you must, for the sake of… tradition?  Then leave.  And leave me alone.  Hey!  It’s all cool!

There was a set of three small advertisements toward the back of the Portland Mercury last week.  $5 concerts for each of the following:  Bullet Boys.  Vanilla Ice.  Gin Blossoms.

At another time these artists would have fetched a lot more than the meager five dollars that you can see them for now.  They all had fifteen minutes, more or less, of fame.  I think you can assess The Gin Blossoms as having not loomed as large as the other two, but on the other hand not having had as big a fall in esteem.  I think you can assess Vanilla Ice as the one who endured the greatest ridicule.  I think the Bullet Boys’ star faded away long enough before Grunge blew Glam Metal out that they avoided that ridicule.
Two things about Vanilla Ice.  #1: The VH1 “Behind the Music” episode for him was the highest rated episode.  #2:  He managed his money well, and doesn’t have to do these $5 shows.  I guess it’s a tribute to him, and the Bullet Boys for that matter, that he does.  I guess the Gin Blossoms are the odd man out in this equation, as they seem to be a sort of innocuous alternative pop rock, great-selling because it was able to played on so many radio formats.  For the life of me I don’t know who Vanilla Ice’s audience is — he’s moved in a “new direction” and is all with the “Nu Metal”, which sort of clashes with the slightly ironic nostalgia audience who might think it worthwhile to go to the show.  I understand perfectly who might go to the Bullet Boys show, and a bit murky but understand enough for the Gin Blossoms.
This gets me around to Paris Hilton.  I see those washed out stars doing stuff, pass their prime of popularity.  Paris Hilton — currently in the height of her popular culture zietgeist — I have always been insulted that I know who she is.  There are plenty of millionaire heiresses out there who don’t have to work, and I’m not annoyed by them because… they live their lives and I don’t know them.  If Paris Hilton were performing somehow or other, then maybe I wouldn’t be so insulted by her presence in the pop cultural landscape.  But all we have is this ridiculous sex tape.  A sex tape that further elucidates the problem: her nonchalance… her boredom… her pampered up-bringing.  I understand there is some aspirational admiration from tweens toward Paris Hilton, which is probably an indictment on our culture.
Today everyone wants the Head of LAPD Sherrif Lee Baca for what I will say, without any hyperbole, an outrage.  The whole situation makes my head spin, up to and including Paris Hilton’s press releases of thanks for her “fair treatment”.  It is a vacuous assault to our senses regarding the most vacuous celebrity I know.  She was released because of medical troubles, which apparently are nothing more than an anxiety over fretful lower living.  Bubble Girl is Paris.
This is the only time I have ever felt compelled to spend any of my brain-span thinking about goddamned Paris Hilton, because it looks as though a conspiracy took place in Los Angeles for the sole purpose of pushing Paris goddamned Hilton out of prison.

These are the things that Revolution are made out of, the times in which the Masses rise up and push certain individuals against the wall.

To the good people of Los Angeles County:  you may want to look into the Recall laws, you know?  The same recall laws that took out Gray Davis and gave you Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The enemy is Lee Baca, a basically intractable machine politician.  By the time he’s up for re-election, this controversy will be long forgotten, so do it now.
In the meantime, maybe you oughta go ahead and give a shilling to a celebrity who actually looks to be doing something… ANYTHING.  For example, Vanilla Ice is putting on a show in Portland.  Part of a tour, I think.

I see that Alan Keyes’s organization, Renew America, has come out swinging on behalf of George W Bush’s new nomination for Surgeon General.

By all accounts, Dr. Holsinger is widely respected by his peers in the medical, academic and state government communities. But, nonetheless, Dr. Holsinger has come under tremendous fire from liberal activists for having the courage to address the compelling medical evidence and multiple studies which underscore the reality that homosexuals can escape the homosexual lifestyle and realign themselves to a biologically and spiritually natural heterosexual “orientation.” The irrefutable reality that thousands of former homosexuals have chosen to leave the “gay” lifestyle they once chose to enter only serves to further bolster — if not prove entirely — Dr. Holsinger’s advised medical assessment.

The “scientific argument” proferred from Dr. Holsinger reminds me of the old Intelligent Design arguments.  Basically the reason that homosexuality is an unhealthy act is because penises fit into vaginas oh so perfectly.  And the body is trained to reject anything else.
The structure and function of the male and female human reproductive systems are fully complementary.  Anatomically the vagina is designed to receive the penis.

It is lined with squamous epithelium and is surrounded by a muscular tube intended for penile intromission. The rectum, on the other hand, is lined with a delicate mucosal surface and a single layer of columnar epithelium intenuea primarily ror the reabsorption of water and electrolytes.

The rectum is incapable of mechanical protection against abrasion and severe damage to the colonic mucosa can result if objects that are large, sharp, or pointed are inserted into the rectum (Agnew, 1986). The anus and rectum, unlike the vagina contain no natural lubricating function.

Thus insertion of unlubricated objects or inadequate dilation of the anus before insertion of a large object can result in tissue laceration. “The internal and external anal sphincters are elastic rings of muscle which generally remain tightly constricted except during defecation.

Which is all why we have AIDS.  AIDS for gay people, you understand.

Which is standard operating thought for the 1980s, of which 1991 basically was a part of.

“That paper was a survey of scientific peer-reviewed studies that he was asked to compile by the United Methodist Church, it’s not that he was saying ‘this is what I believe,'” Babin said. “It’s a reflection of the available scientific data from the 1980s. It should be noted that in 1991, homosexuals were banned from the military and several years before that, homosexuality and Haitian nationality were considered risk factors for HIV/AIDS. Over the last 20 years, a clearer understanding of these issues has been achieved.

Asked about medical experts who disputed that Holsinger’s paper expressed opinions timely in 1991 and pressed to explain what Holsinger’s views on homosexuality are currently , Babin said, “we look forward to the confirmation process, where we can share Dr. Holsinger’s qualifications and views.” 

The rule is that you can be gay in the military, so long as you are closeted.  Which amounts to the same thing as the pre-“Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell” rule.  1991 therefor equals 2007.  More or less.  The entire Democratic slate of presidential candidates raised their hands in opposition to “Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell”; the entire slate of Republican presidential candidates let the crickets chirp at the question.  But leave aside that logic for a moment and look at some more of this landmark study:

In fact, the logical complementarity of the human sexes has been so recognized in our culture that it has entered our vocabulary in the form of naming various pipe fittings either the male fitting or the female fitting depending upon which one interlocks within the other.  When the complementarity of the sexes is breached, injuries and diseases may occur as noted above.
Forgetting the bigoted nature of this argument, I think more in terms of logical fallacies here.  This is akin to proving that God exists because we reference God in our everyday language.  Yes, our standard heterosexual relations dictate the majority of our languages.

Pipe fittings?  Is this more 80s thinking?
Well.  The Democrats have to decline this nomination.  Then Bush can turn around and nominate… Jocelyn Elders, perhaps?  I mean… if he’s serious at pursuing his Abstinence  Only Policies…

Hm. It almost seems as though Larouche himself has decreed that an offensive be launched at the FACTNet board. So this is what Lyndon Larouche does to a young man?

OK I have read plenty here this is a very elaborate devious trick indeed whether it is intentional or accidental. The trap is one of deduction. I will explain what too many from the LYM fall trap into as they walk into this domain of self perpetuated deceit!
Well, at least we have the suggestion that “too many from the LYM” are falling into this here “domain of self perpetuated deceit”. Too bad that google exists. Larouche needs to take some pointers from Scientology and the North Korean government in how to better surpress the outside world from interfering with the Party Line.

Really? “Self Perpetuated Deceit”? Continuing on:

Any and all X members are such because they really did not learn one key fundamental. How to come to understand something to be true! Do you take popular opinion? All those opinions CANT POSSIBLY BE WRONG, right? How about the accumulation of a whole bunch of facts that will get to the truth right? Because the simple tally of more facts will show an aggregation of evidence which always leads us in the right direction? Right?
Oh, this is good! I like this guy. I like him for his lack of self-awareness of his sheer pompous absurdity. “Any and all X members are such because they failed to learn”, etc.? Really? That there is the cult mindset. After that, it has the scent of a cartoon super-villian, feverishly rubbing his hands together as he plots world domination — this would be right before that last commercial break where things look bleakest for whoever the cartoon good guys.
But the Quincunx of Heaven runs low, and ’tis time to close the five ports of knowledge. We are unwilling to spin out our awaking thoughts into the phantasms of sleep, which often continueth precogitations; making Cables of Cobwebs and Wildernesses of handsome Groves. Besides Hippocrates hath spoke so little and the Oneirocriticall Masters, have left such frigid Interpretations from plants that there is little encouragement to dream of Paradise it self. Nor will the sweetest delight of Gardens afford much comfort in sleep; wherein the dullness of that sense shakes hands with delectable odours; and though in the Bed of Cleopatra, can hardly with any delight raise up the Ghost of a Rose.

No. Wait. I wandered off somewhere.
Whatever. I can look at this from a few vantage-points. The better one is to say that I think the jimmyos of that board have a sufficient vantage point to not be terribly impressed. I suspect that the new content at FACTNet is going to be rather pointless for the next few days, as the Cartoon Super Villian Genius has his way.

In the meantime, I want to discuss Al Gore’s Nazi Garden for a moment. Um. Okay. I think I need this translated into the Larouchians’ purple prose.

My misguided brethren who so quickly render the blame upon those they don’t understand ascend unto true understanding from doing hard core work. Work that goes into history looking for invisible things the only things that are really existent because they remain when all the perceptible things wax and wane!
EXACTLY!

Okay. Here’s the thing about that article on Al Gore’s Nazi Garden.

It is just about the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen.(*)

No, wait. Someone else gave out that opinion on the FACTNet board, and the epitome of the type of “ex Larouchie” he is warning me against at that.  And here’s what I was warned against…

Lastly remember, If you are truly intent on understanding what Larouche is saying stop taking second hand opinions!

Damneditall! Foiled AGAIN!

……….

(*) Charitably I could dredge up some notes from a History 102 class and some throw-away references to garden types and philosophical epochs. But really, what good could that possibly do?

… Continuing to study rare exotic floral genus. For this gutter outlet of Wall Street Fascist John Train…

First let me be the nine thousandth person to reference the 1980s band Quiet Riot in reference to Barack Obama’s speech about brewing black quiet riots.

I do not know what created the blip a month ago.

What is a Black Quiet Riot? Is that a novelty politically-incorrect cover band, on par with the “midget Queen” bands? Perhaps with more… urban… inflections. The hippety and hoppety the kids are into these days, what with their… beat boxing. (As opposed to these spandex clad mullet-headed whiteys.)

Or Is it Quiet Riot … in black face?

I suppose the other idea is that a new band has come onto the scene (which scene, I would not know) who the critics feel compelled, or is being marketed as… “sort of a Black Quiet Riot”.
CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE?

Ugh.

Anyway, slightly more substantively, hearing Barack Obama’s speech on Quiet Riots, I couldn’t help but thinking of the outraged reaction from any number of people sitting on the couch, the type of people who thought that the LAPD were justified in beating up Rodney King, the type of person who have given Mark Fuhrman a talk radio show in Spokane. This amuses me. Discord!

( Go to “Randy Gets into Some Trouble on Wheel of Fortune”.)

This week the Willamette Week ran a cover story about strippers.  The cover featuring two long naked sets of legs pushes the product out of those boxes, I suppose.

I stalled at one paragraph, early on in the article, thinking it was missing a public disclosure:

While the local sex industry includes street prostitution, scores of escorts advertising on websites such as [blahdeblahdeblah.portland.com], and massage parlors known as “jack shacks,” the public face of the industry is most certainly the strip club. The metro area is home to at least 40 such venues, arguably more per capita than in any other city in the world. In fact, strip clubs are so common here that Portland doesn’t even boast a designated “red light” district—just about every neighborhood offers up access to “live, nude girls.” 

Scores of escorts advertising on websites such as…

Scores of escorts advertising on websites such as…

Scores of escorts advertising on websites such as…

Who does the Willamette Week think they’re fooling?  Is there any other place of note that scores of escorts are advertising?  Initials “WW”?

Ugh. An official Larouche organization — post-Larouche, with attempted contacts to individuals who quit long time ago — and perhaps any number of unofficial out of Larouche shadow organizations. The unofficial one:

I am hearing this advertisement from “Freedomworks” on KPOJ, Portland’s home for the bakrupt Air America network and some other liberal talk show broadcasting.  We could also refer to it as “Thom Hartmann Radio” based on its 6 hour Thom Hartmann spot of 6 am to noon.
This ad opens with the spokesperson describing himself as a right-winger, but “You wouldn’t believe what we have in common.”  And we go on to define a piece of legislation we all need to oppose because it will gut Oregons initiative process, and the Democrats and Republicans are opposing it to snuff the People.

And he provides names of the liberal lions that the typical KPOJ listener is supposed to sympathize with, the strange bedfellows in the room for this cause.  Two names that will nothing to you unless you either have Oregon ties or you run in the very distinctly defined political circles: Lloyd Marbot and Dan Meekes.  Fair enough.  I don’t know if they were properly contacted for this advertisement, or if they were added as a matter of course, but it makes sense.

But then our friendly “right-winger” adds “Even Ralph Nader” with the entreaty to remember how the Oregon politicians went out of their way to keep off the ballot, suggesting shenanigans upon shenanigans.

Ralph Nader is the star attraction of this appeal to the liberals.  By reminding the liberals listening of a cause that the liberals listening here were by and large complicit in: keeping Ralph Nader off the ballot in 2004.

There’s something a little off in the Freedomworks’ appeal, something to do with the disappearing vote total for Nader from 2000 to 2004, something to do with the evolution of the pro-Nader group “Billionaires for Bush and Gore” of 2000 to the anti-Nader group “Billionaires for Bush” of 2004, something to do with the odd opinion liberals have of Ralph Nader.

Well.  Good luck to it.