I now present the classic hack sports writer “clever” headline for the weekend, published in newspaper after newspaper, and spouted out by tv and radio sportscaster after sportscaster throughout this great nation of ours: BUSH WINS IN A LANDSLIDE.
Har de Har Har.
They say that Reggie Bush is a once in a generation running back, and that an NFL team with a number one pick that passes on him in favour of one of the stand-out quarterbacks may be making the kind of mistake that Portland Trailblazers made in selecting Sam Bowie in front of Michael Jordan. Far be it for me to make guestimates on such pronouncements, but the last two “once-in-a-generation” running backs, as far as I can tell, would be O.J. Simpson, for a Buffalo Bills team that never wandered into the Superbowl under his tutelige, and Barry Sanders, for a Detroit Lions franchise that has won one playoff game in the last 40 years. (But he did thrill multitudes of football fans on Thanksgiving Day television year after year, and momentarily made the Detroit Lions something other than the Great Joke of the League, so he did do some good.)
The Game of the Year would thus be the final week game between the currently 1-12 Houston Texans and the currently 2-11 San Francisco 49ers. Houston came into the season riding a high of a decent season last year with expectations that they may be a playoff conteder this year, and have, as of late, been finding creative ways to lose and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. San Francisco is a franchise that decided to start sucking back around 1999, but somehow Steve Mariachi produced a winning team or two, so he was let go so that the franchise could commence sucking, Steve Mariachi being hired by the Detroit Lions — a franchise that is incapable of not sucking.
There is no reason for the teams to get a victory for the rest of the season. I guess the Houston Texans have a larger margin of error in this regard — they can win and come into the final game with 2 wins, or maybe even 3, and as long as they lose to the San Francisco 49ers… they’ll be home free. That may be why they team is managing to nearly win, whereas the San Francisco 49ers know they don’t have any room for error and thus… that explains yesterday’s 42-3 defeat at the hands of the Seattle Seahawks.
The NBA, I regret to say, lost this kind of mentality when they changed their draft positions to the lottery system. (A bunch of balls bounce around, bingo-style, in a canister of air; all the non-playoff teams have balls in the machine — the worst team has more balls than the next worst team than the next worst team and so forth… the result being that the Orlando Magic won Penny Hardaway and than Shaquille O’Neal for the honor of being destroyed in the NBA Finals, and the San Antonio Spurs had one off-year and thus won Tim Duncan to get them some championships.) The funniest thing I ever heard with the lottery system was the Los Angeles Clippers winning the lottery, and the sports-man on tv saying, “And the Los Angeles Clippers now celebrate the tenth anniversary of the last time they won the lottery” — which was… um… a joke… because… you stink ten years ago, and you stink now? (Well, not now now, but then now… which gets me to…)
……………….
Last year, I was following two NBA teams’ win-loss record, watching an informatl competition between the down-and-just-destroyed Los Angeles Lakers and the sort-of-possibly-on-the-grow Los Angeles Clippers. For most of the season, the Los Angeles Lakers still held the upper ground in this fight for supremacy of the Los Angeles area. But then, after the all-star break, the Lakers started compiling losses, and falling out of their bottom tier playoff-picture berth. Phil Hendrie wound up on a Los Angeles Sports station, and thus played “Brian Grant” for a “Lakers Talk” segment. (An inspired bit, I must say.) Which gave us the classic discussion “You know, I don’t get much into politics, but I must say: Terri Schiavo is showing more signs of life than the Los Angeles Lakers! Terri Schiavo’s heart is beating more surely than Kobe Bryant’s!”
Final Record:
LA Clippers 37 45 .451
LA Lakers 34 48 .415
This year, it’s shaping up to be not even close.
LA Clippers 14 6 .700
LA Lakers 10 10 .500
The Los Angeles Clippers being an … um… elite team. (?)
………………………
Prediction: the Seattle Seahawks will play in the Superbowl. Where they will be thumped and whacked by the Indianapolis Colts by more than three touchdowns. Good Stuff!