Narcissists I Have Known.

I post this with some trepidation.  The original source material is long gone, a proposed “Big Plan” in his career of false starts.  The man it references has, reportedly, re-emerged to his familiar perching bounds — but is close to being a situation where he no longer a threat to anyone but himself.

I have known a couple of people in this religion.  One was a little weird, but I suppose we all are —  and he may fit some stereotypes you might imagine for someone seeking somewhat esoteric religious terrain.  The other can explain her basic cultural desire to claim some Jewish customs within her Christian religion.  Overall, I’m not all that impressed with this religious purview — google it and I see an end of world purview that makes allusions to current events in the Middle East and Israel — which is a problem.

But he was a Narcissistic figure with Delusions of Grandeur more than anything else.  Basically I thought I had lost this clever bit of creative writing, and am surprised to find it, and can now stick it alongside the “Leander Revival” item.

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A preview of Daniel at his “FIRST ANNUAL MESSIANIC TORAH BASED CAMPUS PREACHERS CONFERENCE”

Daniel stands at the podium. Conference room is full of about 400 seats. 2 dozen people are scattered toward the front. Daniel is going through a mock – preaching, and has asked anyone with any questions to raise their hands.

“For Yeshua said ‘Not one jot or tittle of … yes, Brother Tim?”

Brother Tim: “Whenever I preach and reach that part I have this problem. The crowd starts chanting ‘tittle tittle tittle’, and it throws me off. I’m wondering if you know how to get back on track when this happens.”

Daniel, laughs and smiles. “Oh, that’s no problem at all. Basically you just treat the morons for the morons they are and keep on talking. [Tim jots this down in his notebook.] They’ll give in, and stop shortly, and it’ll draw a crowd that will have a seed planted that may spring them forward to conversion.”

Brother Tim: “How do you do that?”

Daniel: “Okay, I’ll tell you what. Let’s do a demonstration. I want the crowd to start chatting ‘tittle tittle tittle tittle’ when I reach the part of the sermon where I say ‘not one jot or tittle’, I want everyone to start the assault of ‘tittle tittle tittle.’ Okay?

Daniel clears his throat. “For in Matthew 5:17, Yeshua says ‘not one jot or tittle shall pass from the law’. What more do you – ”

Everyone in the crowd: “Tittle Tittle Tittle Tittle Tittle Tittle Tittle…” The room echoes with the sound of ‘tittle’. Daniel keeps going, and while one can make out the words he is saying, the echo drowns it out.

Meanwhile, the janitor walks in during his lunch break, with a half-eating BLT sandwich, and sits in the back of the room. He looks up quizzically at his seat, shakes his head, and chomps his sandwich down.

Daniel: “and then Yeshua said, “I have come not to abolish but to fulfill…”

Tittle Tittle Tittle Tittle… they fade off, each person quits chattering ‘tittle’.

Janitor walks out.

Daniel ends his sermon, by saying “As you were saying ‘tittle’, the janitor walked in and listened to my preach intently. He is the one I have reached today, and I am absolutely certain I have blessed him.”

Janitor walks back in, and yells “Are you expecting a bigger crowd for the next meeting, because I can maybe remove a few of these excess chairs for you.”

Daniel: “No. That won’t be necessary. I’m expecting a huge crowd. In fact, bring in a few more chairs if you would.”

Janitor shrugs, and walks out, muttering “That’s what he said the last time.”

Daniel: “Okay, I’ll now pass the collection plate around, money donated will be used to help Torah Restoration Ministries get off the ground.”

Brother Anthony mutters to his wife “Didn’t he pass the plate around at the start of this session?”

Daniel: “Don’t forget, tomorrow Brother Rood will come in and discuss prophecy, describing what the latest barley harvests in Israel mean to the coming Armeggedon. A few of our lecturers haven’t shown up tonight, they fell through, so as a replacement I will do a lecture on how to divine the messages that Yah sends through voices in the head at 2:00, and at 6:00 tonight I will explain how to calculate reprobation percentages. Thank you, and Yah bless you.”

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