Adventures in Petty Crime

In the aisle of a grocery store, I spy  shifty looking man with a case of acne which seems to betray drug use of one type or another.  (My caveat being to reference one time where based on sunburned nose up against a pale face someone assumed a similar betrayal — false of course.)  The suspicousness of the man is confirmed when he strides past me, and out from under his coat drops a carton of chocolate milk.  He akwardly creeks and he picks the thing up to shift back under his coat, “Hi… Just… trying to… get some food… to eat.”  Good meal, I suppose, chocolate milk.  I roll my eyes around to see where we are in relation to the camera or security, but otherwise just walk ahead, muttering something either perceptibly or not perceptibly to the shop-lifter.  But I draw no attention to him.

So it is that I am an accomplice to petty theft.  And now so are you.


I walk up to a cross-walk, at the same time a bicyclist stops.  The streets are clear of traffic, which in the usual course means I will walk on and jay walk — unless there is a mommy/daddy/child unit, in which case I am obliged to be a proper stranger role model to the child to OBEY TRAFFIC RULES.  The fellow next to me stops, obviously waiting to see if I walk on — following my lead.  I have the power of decision in my hand, this bicyclist has opted to leave me with the decision — somewhat analogious to my Child Rule of strictly adhering to cross-walk rules, he encompasses it further to what society around him does.  It is an odd stand-off.  So, after a few seconds, I walk on — and he proceeds to do the same.  We are accomplices to each other’s petty jay-walking.  And now so are you.

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