“I’d give my Superbowl Championship to Stop the Gay Menace” — I say Let’s Make that Deal!

Former New York Giants receiver David Tyree’s celebrated catch in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XLII was pivotal to his team’s victory. Now out of football, he is trying to claim a last-minute win over another foe — same-sex marriage.

On the same day that the New York State Assembly approved a same-sex marriage bill, Tyree warned of dire consequences if the legislation becomes law.

The bill’s passage would “be the beginning of our country sliding toward … anarchy,” he said

Tyree made the comments in a video released Wednesday by the National Organization for Marriage, which is spearheading opposition to the bill. The legislation must now clear the Republican-controlled State Senate where its fate is uncertain.

Hm.

Anarchy, you say?

“Marriage is the only relationship that actually mirrors the relationship with God,” he said.

I don’t know what that means.

He also argued that same-sex parents are ill-equipped to raise a child of the opposite sex.

I don’t know what that means.  Oh, wait: here’s the clarification.

“You can’t teach something that you don’t have,” Tyree said in the video. “So two men will never be able to teach a woman how to be a woman.”

What about certain Gay stereotypes?  Aren’t they worth anything for Tyree?

In an opinion column for Yahoo News, the group’s chairman, Maggie Gallagher, said Tyree told her he decided to speak out after his former teammate Michael Strahan declared his support for gay marriage last week.

That’ll show that dweeb, Strahan.

Hm.

“The catch was a gift, it’s not like I’d try to do it. I couldn’t do it again so that was a miracle,” Tyree told the New York Daily News.

God sure turned on the New England Patriots.  What did they do to forsake him?  (Probably the same as whatever made God decide to turn on Jon Kitna after the hub-ub surrounding a 6-2 start, as the Evangelical Choir moved on following a 1-7 finish to Jump on the back of Tim Tebow.)

“There’s nothing worth more than [maintaining marriage between a man and a woman] right here for me.”

Does that mean he’d give up the Super Bowl victory to stop gay marriage? “Honestly, I probably would.

“Nothing means more to me than that my God would be honored,” said Tyree, who does not oppose benefits for gay couples. “Being the fact that I firmly believe that God created and ordained marriage between a man and a woman, I believe that that’s something that should be fought for at all costs.

“So I’ll lay down everything I am to preserve the honor and integrity of the God that I serve.”

I tell you what.  Soviet History style, let’s just change the historical record.  Wipe out that play.  New England Patriots win!  Undefeated!  They own the phrase “19-0″.  Now, go to the rest of the New York Giants roster, from that year, and take away the bonuses and trophies and Championship and hand it all over to the Patriots.

Now the question I have: How could Tyree have dropped that ball at such an inopportune moment?

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