Our sports teams need more insulting thin historical paralells

Saban Compares Loss to 9/11, Pearl Harbor

Citing the 9-11 terrorist attacks and Pearl Harbor, Alabama coach Nick Saban said Monday his team must rebound like America did from a “catastrophic event.”

In this case, that would be an embarrassing 21-14 loss Saturday to Louisiana-Monroe.

“Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event,” Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. “It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event.”

Alabama’s just getting ready to face No. 25 Auburn, its biggest rival, on Saturday.

A Saban spokesman said the coach chose the 9-11 and Pearl Harbor references to illustrate the challenges facing his team.

Now, Nick Saban is getting a lot of heat for this comparison, people thinking he went too far for a historical parallel.  But I don’t think he went far enough, or to put it another way, if you are going to do this, you should go all the way.

What you want is an explanation of how bad the defeat was, how whatever doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger, and how you will now go on to a brighter future.  Further, you want to insult a number of ethnic groups in the process.

So, here’s my suggestion:

“That loss was as if we were sentenced to Auschwitz by the Gypsies.  But just like the survivors of the Holocaust, who went on to kick the Arabs out of Palestine, we will persevere, and Watch out for us next year!”

What I like most about that would be the prospect of Romanian groups upset over being compared to Louisiana – Monroe.

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