GOP Race to Space

I.  Michelle Bachmann is apparently polishing herself clean, applying make-up in more effective manner, which speaks to a more viable Presidential run than one normally associates with these “lower-tier, got part of the base” Kuchinichy campaigns.

She’s also comparing herself to serial killers.  It’s a gaffe you see the commenters in the Washington Time excuse, by way of referencing Obama’s “57 states” and Biden’s “saw FDR on the teevee” comments.  And it is just a bit hard to figure.  She was just calling out a local person who did good in Iowa — confusing one John Wayne for the resident of the town — John Wayne’s namesake.

Michelle Bachmann is the Candidate of the Moment — standing tall in the polls in Iowa.  She’s pulling in all the votes that Tim Pawlenty is supposedly supposed to be garnering.

II.  Presidential candidate Ron Paul, meantime, is on a quest.  He wants to know if there is actually gold in the vaults at Fort Knox, or if it’s been whisked away at some point — which, given the price tag, might well be an acceptable fiction for us citizens of the republic to continue.

According to Treasury estimates, testing all that gold would take 400 people working full time for six months to complete and cost at least $15 million. Paul now says he would be satisfied with a representative sampling of the bullion.

It is this situation that is the opposite of Geraldo’s — if they open up the vault and find the gold, Ron Paul would be greatly disappointed.

But … how else do we explain what happened to Dominique Strauss Kahn?

A new report prepared for Prime Minister Putin by the Federal Security Service (FSB) says that former International Monetary Fund (IMF) Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was charged and jailed in the US for sex crimes on May 14th after his discovery that all of the gold held in the United States Bullion Depository located at Fort Knox was ‘missing and/or unaccounted’ for.

III.  Mitt Romney is copying an ad of Magaret Thatcher’s, for the purpose of having the media reference the Thatcher ad and give heightened attention to Romney’s ad.  Romney’s doesn’t have the pun goodness of Thatcher.

Of course, it occurs to me that some of the Ron Paul candidacy’s problem — the things they decide to reference and evoke — may lie around here:
There are lots of bright lights campaigns can wave in front of reporters’ faces to get coverage for themselves, but few work better than a subtle (or sort-of-subtle) reference to an old campaign. But not too old—it has to be something the reporters either remember, or learned about as part of their political education. You can’t make an oblique reference to Martin Van Buren’s 1848 Free Soil campaign, because reporters won’t spot it. But it has to be just subtle enough that they can sound informed by telling their audiences what it’s all about.

IV. With respect to this defense of Herman Cain calling out Jon Stewart for attacking him as a Black Conservative, I mostly think Herman Cain is just trying to goad Jon Stewart into saying something about him.  Unless he wants to drop a gaffe, it’s a hard business to crack the media.

V.  Potential candidate Rick Perry, who is said by some sources to be 50 – 50, and is said by more shaky sources to be “in” — probably isn’t gay, and the mind spins around here.  Though, surely this piece does deserve a trashing.

President Barack Obama has launched his $1 billion dollar re-election campaign for the White House, so he can finance creative methods to attack GOP presidential contenders. Accordingly, he’s spreading rumors that Texas Gov. Rick Perry is a so-called puppet of a leftist globalist community that is intent on one world government with the United Nations taking the reins of power. Obama is hoping these rumors can keep Tea Party members from supporting Perry if he receives the Republican nomination.

Here’s an example of an Obama-instigated conspiracy theory about Gov. Perry on the website, “every indication suggests that Bilderberg-approved Texas Governor Rick Perry is set to become the frontrunner in the Republican race to challenge Barack Obama for the presidency, illustrating once again how a shady, secretive and undemocratic global elite holds the reigns of true power while Americans are distracted by the delusional notion that they have a genuine choice in 2012.”

I tell you what…

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