the following comes from the 2000 Oregon State Voters Guide Primary Edition for Multnomah County, and is thus part of the public record. I have opted to leave this out here without much editorial comment, except to say that I believe she is kidding, unlike- say- This Guy. There are 13 candidates for Portland mayor. Here's the one that I endorse.

Shaun J. Fairlee's Run at Mayor.

Occupation:None. Occupational Background: Fantasy Video. Prior Governmental Experience:None.

As your delightful Mayor, I will show you the magic in your T.V. set. I will show you that the T.V. is the new ancient God for the year 2000. As mayor, I will show you how to use your television for spiritual salvation. I will take you by your left and right hand to the land of eternal fun. We can all become new and improved and full of Godlike grooviness. Turn on your televion, turn on your unconscious, and have a look around. I have always been the Mayor.

The city that works? No! No! No! We are the city of roses! We are not some cold, gray, dark metropolis. We are not some nightmare city of the future. We are Mayberry! We are a warm blanket on a cold, rainy day. We are a city where our oldest citizens can walk downtown at night and feel safe. In the spring, you can actually smell the flowers in bloom. Try doing that in the city that works. Puddletown, awake from your rainy sleep and see that a puddles is a mirror to look into and see your true self.

As your mayor, I am a lonely little raindrop. You are all my lonely little raindrops,too. I will see you in your dreams, and at the voting booths. A vote for me is a vote for you, Portlandia!

There you go. Pro-Television. Anti-dark metropolis. Anti-Working City. Pro-Dream. has, after reading the view of the pro-drug and prostitute candidate, the pro-Christian pro-Sewage homophobic candidate, and the other ten candidates of no distinguishable charactersitics, decided that Fairlee is the best bet to complete the bridge to the 21st century in the city of Portlandia. She is the most in touch with my hopes and dreams.

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