Running Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, and Michael Steele through a proposed Voter’s Guide
I have pondered this idea of a voter’s guide for these United States. It is a bit depressing, but Rand Paul puts its usefulness in stark relief — and he is not the first politician I’ve seen have trouble with this issue.
I’m gonna pass on the age of the earth. I think I’m just gonna have to pass on that one.
My voters’ guide idea starts with the base-line question “How old is the Earth?” The candidate who answers 4 and a half billion years, and I am not a stickler for exactitude, will get the endorsement over the candidate who answers 6,000 years. If they both answer 6,000 years, nobody gets the endorsement. If they both answer 4 billion years, we go on to the next answer with a smidgeon of satisfaction.
I am not sure what the next question would be. Maybe I’ll ask to guage a level of outrage at efforts to remove “under God” from the Constitution, but that feels like a bit too much like a trick question. I do think I need a bridge question of some sort to get to my next Voter’s Guide item: a rapid fire succession of queries about whether various scenarios fall under “God’s Will“, an idea prompted by Sharron Angle and her exchange? The endorsement goes to the person who answers “yes” the fewest number of times.
Then again, for overall Party Choice to fill out the ballot beyond the reach of politicians I can’t finangle to answer this voter’s guide questioneer, I can go to the Chair Person of the Party and see how he (she, theoretically) defines the Afghanistan mission.
But the thing about Michael Steele —
I remember seeing this tv show, a cheap Summer temporary replacement deal, with the premise of having two contestants given a retail job, the goal of which was to get fired as close to the end of the workday as possible. It’s a premise that sets up some interesting dynamics — you can’t get fired too early, but have to start collecting negative chits toward the direction of being fired, against co-workers and management who are prone to be patient for a launch. I think Michael Steele just may be on a show like that one.