Over the course of 40 years, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has been the target of 637 assassination attempts, including a poisoned cigar, and a diving suit contaminated with a fungal disease.

In 1999, Castro sued the US government for these 637 assassination attempts, all keystone cop operations not worthy of the Hitler assassination parody Charlie Chaplin portrayed in his movie The Great Dictator.

Today Fidel Castro is reportedly “gravely ill”, and has passed for the moment the keys to the government to his brother. Take “gravely ill” whatever it means, simply put all media outlets are brushing up on their pre-written obituaries and all news websites have such a page ready to go, index finger hovering over the “send” button. There are near riots in the streets of Miami in anticipation for Fidel Castro’s death. They are being told to calm down. I’ll shrug and just go ahead and say this:

“Holy Cow! Attempt Number 638 may just have succeeded!”

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