my name is Thaddeus Monroe Slamp, and I'm Your Friendly Neighborhood Heuristic Mantic Mystic.

I perform the following services, which I hope will gain your consideration, when and if you find yourself needing or wanting them:

talking to you; priced per hour. Writing; priced per page. Research; priced per topic. Just about anything else; priced per hour. Last, but not least, divinations; priced per question (It usually costs more to know what God thinks). The word anything is not meant to imply anything outside the bounds of what I consider reasonable. Quality of writing assignments is not guaranteed. Divinations require a days thought before written results.

Contact information: Slarty@ureach.com. (Toll free, even from a pay phone) 1-877-801-0807 ext. 709. Slarty1@my-deja.com

I received the above sales pitch from right outside the fenced area marking an Al Gore rally, (held in my backyard, of course). A sign with those words was on a garbage can. A homeless-looking guy gave me a slip of paper that had the same words- apparently this guy was somehow affiliated with Mr. Stamp- my friendly neighborhood Heuristic Mantic Mystic. I have loaded his contact information up because- well- I tend to think he wouldn't mind any nudge of advertisement whatsoever. I have yet to contact my friendly neighborhood Heuristic Mantic Mystic, and I don't plan on doing so anytime in the forseeable future. No word on Mr. Stamp's political affiliations- though it would appear that he is an opportunist using the Al Gore mania to push his services. Lastly, Al Gore gave a boring speech, as did the entire Oregon Democratic party.

http://www.struat.com: THE WAY!!