On a standard "Repent, you bastard!"/ "Huh? What are you talking about" thread on a "street preacher's" baord, which had run into the standard Adrian asking to meet in person with various "heathen", the beverage choice of many, Jolt Cola, was brought into the mix. In response to a post which Pagan Wolf began by writing "*Pagan Wolf snickers and takes a swig of Jolt cola*", Adrian made the faux-pas of confusing the beverage as a store brand cola:

"...try repentance of your perversion, it'll make the "real thing" (a reference to your WallMart brand cola vs. Coke) more real."

A Sam then posted "Technically, Jolt Cola is not a Walmart brand... Walmart sells "Sam's Choice".

The problem here being that Jolt Cola is neither technically nor practically a "Walmart brand." It's a national brand that serves its niche market just fine, thank you very much. Jolt Cola's past clever marketing as fitting into a fashionably unhealthy lifestyle (as from its slogan "Not Just for Breakfast anymore") actually is a tact similar to the current Carl's Jr. marketing campaign. It's also cleverly marketed with its very name -- what else should you call a beverage containing over two times as much caffeine as Coke and Pepsi but "Jolt Cola"? (A similar marketing tact has been taken up by a fragrance company with a cologne named "Bang".)

But nevermind. Somehow this reminds me of this Bloom County cartoon from the 80s. Milo and another character who escapes me at the moment were arguing over which colas they should drink. The arguments ran along the lines of "Pepsi is endorsed by Michael Jackson", "Ahh... but Coke counters with George Michaels." At the end, Milo says "But we're missing the key point. They both taste like Malted Battery Acid anyways." I went through a phase when I was infested with the spirit of this gag, and with an ironic detachment quipped out cola ad slogans to whatever I was drinking. "The joy of Pepsi", "I would like to give the world a Coke", whatever.

Today I'm just a corporate stooge.
copyright 2002 jhowards 


And life moved on.