{"id":804,"date":"2004-12-14T10:24:19","date_gmt":"2004-12-14T17:24:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/?p=804"},"modified":"2004-12-14T10:24:19","modified_gmt":"2004-12-14T17:24:19","slug":"destroying-your-christmas-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/2004\/12\/14\/destroying-your-christmas-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Destroying Your Christmas PART 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>I don’t know if children in other nations do this to their standard songs.<\/p>\n

“Jingle Belles, Batman Smells, Robin Laid an Egg, The Batmobile Lost its wheel and the Joker Got Away — Hey!”<\/p>\n

The other classic that pops immediately to mind is the “like Pinocchio” “like Monopoly”, etc interspersed after various lines of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”<\/p>\n

I was sitting at a bus stop with a mother and child visiting and trying to escape the city from the suburbs — I think visiting for the lighting of the Christmas Tree. The snot-nosed 10 year old boy jumped into what I guess is the newest rendition of the tradition…<\/p>\n

“I believe I can die”
\n(The second line has two variations: “I got ran over by the ice cream guy” or “I got ran over by the FBI” (Is there any difference between the two? I don’t know.)
\n“All I wanted was a cherry pie.”
\n“I believe I can die.”<\/p>\n

Take it for what it’s worth.<\/a> For the life of me I don’t know where these things can from, or how they spread around in the community of elementary school kids.<\/p>\n

He’ll be singing at the annual Christmas Children’s Mass, I suppose. An event that nobody anywhere, not the children, not the parents, not the congregation, not the priest, wants any part of… but there it is…<\/p>\n

At the top of my lungs, along with 20 other kids: “I AM THE CHURCH! YOU ARE THE CHURCH! YES WE’RE THE CHURCH TOGETHER! ALL WHO FOLLOW JESUS ALL AROUND THE WORLD — LET’S BE THE CHURCH TOGETHER!”<\/p>\n

That’s a bad scene. I remember attending one from the pews at the age of 11 or so, quote-in-quote “forgetting” to tell my parents that I had to be at church early for the event (actually taking advantage of being absent a week earlier when the priest reminds everyone what is to come next week), and the CCD music director chewing me out a couple days later for being in the pews and not in the chior section, threatening to drag me out next time by my ears. The only thing I can think is that “Misery loves company”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t know if children in other nations do this to their standard songs. “Jingle Belles, Batman Smells, Robin Laid an Egg, The Batmobile Lost its wheel and the Joker Got Away — Hey!” The other classic that pops immediately to mind is the “like Pinocchio” “like Monopoly”, etc interspersed after various lines of “Rudolph […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}