{"id":5006,"date":"2009-11-16T20:04:33","date_gmt":"2009-11-17T03:04:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/?p=5006"},"modified":"2009-11-16T20:05:01","modified_gmt":"2009-11-17T03:05:01","slug":"every-so-often-we-have-the-opportunity-to-dig-into-the-old-abbott-and-costello-routine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/2009\/11\/16\/every-so-often-we-have-the-opportunity-to-dig-into-the-old-abbott-and-costello-routine\/","title":{"rendered":"Every so often, the News gives us the opportunity to dig into the old Abbott and Costello routine."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Obama is meeting with Hu.<\/p>\n<p>What?<\/p>\n<p>No.\u00c2\u00a0 Hu.<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>From Kids In the Hall, season one, the video has been taken off youtube by the corporates as per their right regarding copyright.<\/p>\n<p>[Kevin and Dave walk onto a stage, Kevin is smiling comically and dancing  around a bit, Dave keeps a straight face and speaks very reserved.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Good evening ladies and gentlemen! I&#8217;m McGillicutty!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I&#8217;m Greene.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Well, Mr. Greene, it appears we have a conflict of financial interest  to settle up to the extent I owe you 10 American dollars bills. But as luck  would have it [pulls out a 20 dollar bill] I only have a 20! [thinks for a  second] Say Mr. Greene! Would you happen to have change for a 20? That is to  say, do you have two 10s for this 20 dollar bill?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Uh, yes, I do. [Dave reaches in pocket and pulls out two 10s.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Fine then! I&#8217;ll give you the 20 and you&#8217;ll give me the two 10s [they  exchange money] and we&#8217;ll call it even! [Kevin smirks]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Uh, no, actually we&#8217;ve just exchanged equal amounts of money. You still  owe me 10.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> [a little nervous] But, isn&#8217;t that a 20 dollar bill in your hand?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Well, it looks to me like you owe me 10 dollars!<\/p>\n<p>[Dave turns to Kevin with a whiny look.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Please give me my money.<\/p>\n<p>[Kevin stuffs the money into his hand and Dave puts it in his pocket.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Just take it! [short pause] Mr. Greene! Guess who I ran into on my way  to the theater this evening?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Who?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Rhonda, the former professional hunchback!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh! Did she get her back straightened?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> No, she&#8217;s just outta work!<\/p>\n<p>[drumroll]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> [a bit depressed] Awww, so her back isn&#8217;t better then?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> [looks nervous again] Nope, just outta work!<\/p>\n<p>[Kevin tries to cue a drumroll; drumroll.  Short pause.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Say Mr. Greene, I hear you manage a baseball team.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> No.  I&#8217;m a vaudevillian.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> No, I think you manage a baseball team!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes of course, yes I do manage a baseball team.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> I understand some of the players have rather strange nicknames, rather   silly pet names the players have nowadays.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, it&#8217;s true.  In fact, I have the team roster with me right here.   For instance, Hu is on first base, Watt is on second, and Iduno is on third   base.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Who&#8217;s on first base?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Who?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, Hu is the man on first base.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Why are you asking me; I&#8217;m asking you!  What&#8217;s the name of the guy on   first base?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> No no, Watt is on &#8211; oh, I see what your problem is!  Look, you&#8217;re   confused by their names, because they all sound like questions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> I dunno (whispers) third base.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I&#8217;ll explain it to you.  See, on first base is Hu, Samuel Hu, and   you&#8217;re probably not familiar with that name because his grandfather was   Chinese.  And on second base is Hector Watt, W-A-T-T Watt, and that&#8217;s not so   unusual because James Watt invented the steam engine.  And on third base is   Phil Iduno, I-D-U-N-O, and if you do say that fast, it does sound like the   phrase &#8216;Gee, I dunno,&#8217; but it&#8217;s actually Iduno, Phil Iduno.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> That&#8217;s it.  You&#8217;re hopeless, you&#8217;re pathetic, you&#8217;re the worst straight   man I ever worked with.  I quit.  I should have never saved you from those   seals.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> What are you talking about?  I auditioned for this job.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Bastaaaard!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Obama is meeting with Hu. What? No.\u00c2\u00a0 Hu. &#8230; From Kids In the Hall, season one, the video has been taken off youtube by the corporates as per their right regarding copyright. [Kevin and Dave walk onto a stage, Kevin is smiling comically and dancing around a bit, Dave keeps a straight face and speaks [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5006"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5008,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5006\/revisions\/5008"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.struat.com\/election\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}